BROMANTIC

Legends would prove that gays (homosexuals) existed even in the earliest civilizations of human race. Around the 10th millennium BC, many evidence would assume their existence. In the caves, artifacts they left as ages come to pass. They shine even before we have known the right word to identify them in the society. Well, they been a help though. They say that fashion brought alone with them, the new era of people, wonderful civilization, great minds. Gays are astounding. There are leaders before who said to be gays. The great warrior and protector of Rome, the son of Ceasar, Alexader the Great is also known to be a gay, the great philosopher Plato who argued “love between males is the highest form and that sex with women is lustful and only for means of reproduction.” Such a disturbing statement. Its nice to know that gays were legends, they strive and survive. No wonder why they spreaded like viruses nowadays. They become stronger since the time of memorial, their genes has been tested and harnessed, they reached the potential to be the dominant XX and YY genes combined. Moreover, we need to respect and treat them as human. Besides, they are human after all. They're just gays.

Int the present generation, gays still leads the politics, companies, businessess, Showbiz, everywhere you can find gays. They still stand out even though lots of criticism are thrown upon them. It hurts, one of my friends said, but it hurts even more when they are not accepted as human. I can fell for him? Or her?, I don't know which of the right word to use, perhaps the word “it”.(hahaha) Moreover, they would simply say that they are victims of destiny. There souls were trapped in the masculine bodies. That is why most of the gays I have known are in the next level. At first look, you see a beauty,incomparable, amazing, perfect as it can be. The problem is that, the average gays in the economy would result to make ups, terrible make up I should say, others would perfect it but still the “dangling apparatus still separates their legs apart”. However, It is not impossible to rich and high status gays, there almost complete, they have everything men wants. They can give you the perfect sex ever, money, love that you can be proud of, but hell no about the baby thing. But no worries, they are not banned in adapting children and babies. Men who aspires this kind of relations can be able to experience the complete and happy family so to speak.

There are different options of being a gay. Gays who choose to be monsters (I mean gays who are nocturnals, corrupting minors). They are also gays who are crossdressers, gays who knows ethics, professionals, not in sex!, but in dealing with people, aside to the degree earned. Gays are hospitable, too much though for others. Gays are generous! For sure. Gays are earners! Singers! They find ways to relieve from money matters. Well, true that poverty for them is not the hindrance to success. For more information about gays, they are more than bombay. Men who does not have money can easily resolve the issue. Believe me their not “maramot”.

Bromance? Yes! Bromance is the new word added in the webster dictionary just awhile ago. I told my friend about the word after I read about it in the web. He is the prefect example of my “bromance” thingy. He is harmful in a good way. He creates the atmosphere of laugter and joy. He is not a gay that cross-dressed, but he did that before he confessed to me before. A perfect decision I should say, he looks more masculine than I do. My friend is happy being one in the federation, I can see it. Bromance? Yes! We are bromance. The world now acknowledges the presence of gays, but having little problem with the church. Church is gay (happy). But too OA though. I heard that there are now same sex marriage! Hurray for gays! It is  not impossible for gays nowadays to live as natural unlike before. Gays are gay (happy) people after all. They deserve that. Bromance is a friendly relationship far apart of having intimate relationship. Great! I have so many Gay friends, Bromance partnership. No hussle, I hope no issues (hahaha)! They are great people, good people. They make the crowd burst in laughter, if you need a fashion update or total make over, just go to your gay friend and you'll be seriously be given the right advice you need. There not after all monster, their just gay. Just gay and their happy being one. Now tell me, are you gay?

IT'S ALL IN THE MIND???

It has been five (5) months since I started working as a Call Center Agent in one of the low paying BPO Company here in our place. But I have no choice despite the fact that I really needed the job after all. I needed to support myself, my vices as well. It was my first job I considered though I experienced working in a buffet house before but It was really different than standing in front of the door welcoming the guest and bidding goodbyes’ and “how’s our food sir/ma’am crap.” But this time was different and more challenging, a real job. I was happy when doing nothing though I felt like useless when I was just staying at home being fed and not being productive. I felt that they were no longer happy of what I was doing, staying long at night and drunk.  (Who do you think be happy with that?) Well, that was the time I was awakened by the truth. My girlfriend helped me to seek for a convenient job for me so I printed my resume and have a copy of 12. I thought about working in a call center since it’s the well-known job nowadays and they accept undergrad applicants. Then the next day, we started looking for a Call center since there were numbers of BPO I could apply on. So we went to the lowest paying BPO Company that was known in our place, thinking that they would easily accept me. I was right! Luckily, I was accepted but I have to wait for the call or text to notify me about the interviews and trainings. I waited about a month before they called me and I showed up. The training started right away and had me present at the office at exactly 3am in the morning. It was truly a shocked and my body would not accommodate such a sudden change of sleep-wake cycle. I sacrificed and tried it since being call center agents they say, would not be complete if I do not experienced being baked at night to dawn shift. It was at first unbearable since I needed to wake up at the time I love to party. But I have to, so I must act like zombies. However, my most common enemy was sleeplessness during the time Jesus was crucified and died, at three (3) am. I told my TL (team leader) that I was sleepy and he would just say “it’s all in the mind”. So I tried to make myself alive by chit chatting with my fellow trainees (we started as trainees of 16 and later on ended up with only two (2). It was at first a race to become agent status and at least increased the salary. (Well, modesty aside, I was the one who become the first agent status in our batch) I could not imagine my life later on. I love staying up whole night and contented to have a sleep for a maximum of 4 hours or less. Still I could do my natural life in the morning. I could still have a date with my girlfriend, had time with my friends to bond together and drinking session too. I was like a robot with super charged battery in it. The life of a call center agent is really amazing, really unsure. There were a lot of learning’s and a lot of memories, frustrations, a lot of first time.  I thought at first it was really hard since I’ll be calling to US citizens and having not enough confidence to speak words in English, it made it more inconvenient talking with them. Then again “it’s all in the mind”. One can achieve something if he has a strong determination. The schedule was like a gasoline price, not sure of what changes might hit you or the most unfortunate event was when the account or the campaign is dissolved. Call center agent believes only one thing; changes may come their way, hardships, but they all believe “it’s all only in the mind”. What a strong conviction!!! But I say, “it’s all because of the money!!!”.

Missed Call

Vocation is a gift and a mystery in one. Vocation never loses its meaning, never been wronged and criticized and questioned. It’s dogmatic, a mandate. It is the end of the sentence, and answer to an argument, a solution to a problem. I almost crashed to all kinds of vocation. I have been single but later years decided to choose a religious life stayed for years, got dissatisfied all of the sudden in the quiet night, search the meaning of life outside, and journeyed with God. I was officially single but blessed. I still served the mother church with mission across the areas I was a novice of hope, assisted the church, I preached the good news and joined a group of youth believing in God, I was a soldier of God. Then I got carried away by chances, education was essential, gone wild inside the inner self prostrations, a lost dreams, a tainted past. I got paired again then loses again, many times, over and over again, I prayed, I cried, many times. 

I chose to be single but no longer blessed, denied the importance of prayer and inhabit the worldly things, become happy, a short period of happiness, a long silence of discomfort, reminiscing the dream, tears, denied everything. I prayed, I promised, I failed. Abused the body, refused the truth, and rejected God. 

After so many mistakes, I decided to proceed to other courses, a lot more student like scenario, put meaning to my life. I stayed with one woman to love. I studied again, established new friends, classmates, added new knowledge, happy. I wrote a letter to the seminary, promised to be back soon. I was bit by bit taking my step of going back to God believing that my dreams of becoming one of the white dressed respectable people up the stage be realized. Changed, attending Holy Eucharist, praying. Just a few months, I never thought disaster come down rolling upon my very self. I met a woman, a friend, best friend, secretly loving me, I was blind, I hurt her, I broke up with the woman I love, and I cheated because of her. I was overwhelmed, I was disturbed. She made friends with my friends, so fast I didn't even notice it. Then there were silence, almost two months, I was at peace, I missed her. Then she came back, they came back. I was hundred times drowned. It was wrong, I was wrong. I cried, many times, I can’t sleep, I was scared. We hid the truth for months, we were cornered, got busted. She trusted me, she fought for my friends, unreasonable, no love, she could not understand. We tried, we established. I cheated, then I cheated, then I cheated. THEN STOP! Realization hit me once again and pity, unconditional love was forged, I faked it. I got swallowed, I learned to appreciate, and I was stupid. She cheated, I was hurt, I let go, let go, let go, let go, but never. I lied I pretended to stay, I stayed. I found deep love, not for her but to the little me, she was mine; she was mine after all I thought. She came up in the world because of me. I tried to be responsible, do the unthinkable, but I failed. I felt less than a human, a stupid person, a bad father.

I searched many times; many have come but never last long. The situation changes, trial and error kind of love, user, being used, but never works out. It was all forgotten, better forgotten. Everything was messed up experiences. I was still moving away to responsibilities, never tried to be a leader, never ruled over myself. I still have vices, indulged myself to more worldly things that causes break ups and hurts. I ran to my friends, cried to my mother’s lap, an action figure in the broad day light and nocturnal at night, but deep inside was a total darkness, I hid, my haven of peace. I considered the darkness as my comfort zone, I was never honest since then, and love made me a liar, experiences created a monster out of me. I was never tamed, they all tried. I cheat. I will cheat if I don't see us great. It was understandable; I was prostrated, my dreams gone awry. Still I searched, I never stop.

After all the storms that I'd been through and hindrances I surmounted, I found at last the happiness that I was looking for. She was just there, behind me, at my side, at the back, in front of me, a meter away from me, an inch apart. I was all the time blind. I never imagined that long before I started my education, the journey I opted to pursue. She was my very first classmate. I don't remember if she saw me or even laid an eye on me. I was not interesting after all. It was too late but not yet. When I got to know her, she becomes the light of my dreams, the way of my becoming. I returned to God, I prayed, His prodigal son. She was an instrument of goodwill. An ambassador, she made my revolting attitude towards grievances of my past come to pass. She becomes the love that sprouted new hopes within me. I was hopeful that this moment would not come to pass us. If the extremes judges us, It should be worth remembering, a history. One thing I was thankful since then when she came to my side, she took the time of understanding my darkest side, and she kept on building the good side of me and repainting my past for me not to be discouraged of life. I would even say she's a good painter. She made my day beautiful, my life colorful. She is a true person, an angel perhaps befriending a devil, convincing how beautiful heaven is. She tamed the monster out of me. And I would say she did well. (I am grateful)
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I am so blessed having a partner like her. If my destiny is to be with her, I would even take the time of my life looking to that “destiny” and say my deepest thank you. She’s one hell of a kind. I just won the greatest lottery of life so I say. However, I am still afraid, worried to the fact that nothing is constant. Everything is set for us, the plans, my dreams and hers. It’s so perfect, incomparable. I told her I would never ever mess up again I would never hurt her again. She suffered too much and that’s enough. But she stayed even though I have done so many bad things towards her; still she keeps on holding on. I am hurt in silence, I am stunned, I can’t move. Anyone who stays at me and fights for me gets hurt. If this is what love means hurting her, I would die, I would let her go even if it kills me, and I don’t want any collateral damages because of me. I am an abomination. Where would I suppose to be with or live my life with/for?

No matter how many calls I received a day; a temptation and opportunity it may be. This time I am sure I will not waver that I know my life would change again if I take the bait. Before I never listened, that time I never believed, I never contemplate and pray. I was tested by God in all aspects of my life. I come to many unthinkable experiences at an early age and I appreciate it. I did grow and I did love. I was never sure, never did sure in my whole life before. But one thing I am sure I made the right decision in my life, the decision to stay with her. This might be the vocation I’ll be answering for now, I believe it would take long, too long that it will be forgotten who forsake us, and it will become a law to others and a dogma to everyone. We will stay strong together. We will wait together to the vocation that everyone who knows how and what to love unconditionally is. Thank you for coming over my life, for staying. I love the way you are. <3  

It was a missed call yes! and an answered prayer. :)

Look a like a Carabao???

Is it good having a look alike or not? Some people don't like having a look alike like for example Jet Li in his movie, The One but most celebrity has its own look alike or double. Are they considered carabao's? YES!!! they are carabaos since they're the same in facial structures, mostly. There is this humor that says if you have a same facial structure, resemblance or a look alike and as if the face is common to the person who you just met in the market. You are a carabao. They said that all the animals especially the carabao have same faces, which I believe true. It is obvious even to the other animals. But what about us Human? Animals too?

This happened a lot anywhere many times but this one experience of mine i could never forget. I remember one time when me and my friends went to one of the mall in Davao to watch the movie we planned to watch as part of our weekend activity. After the movie, we waited just outside the entrance of the cinema to wait for the other friends, I noticed that there was this certain gorgeous lady who really was staring at me. I thought i accidentally bumped her when we have our way out or when i bought a ticket in the ticket booth or i wronged here somewhere sometimes. She slowly approached me wearing an unconvinced eyes or in a doubted mood. then she asked me, "DI BA IKAW TONG NAGCONCERT SA SM YESTERDAY?" "TAMA PA LAGI KO!!!" oh my gosh! this beautiful lady mistook me as a singer, a vocalist of a certain famous band in the city. the feeling was really a sort of heavens blessing having this face (hahaha). Then we jokingly pretended that, "YES! i am that person!!! I hope you enjoy my song". We ended the day laughing because I have a band of my own, without even knowing it. Its hard to fake something your really are not. But you see? i made that girl happy by giving her a hug of a lifetime, a hug in behalf of her real idol. Good thing I guess. 

One evening it was Friday my friends decided to stop by my place to visit because they thought i was sick since i did not go to school that day. It was already 7 in the evening when we ended the conversation so we come up into conclusion to have the conversation going with a bottle of beer in hands. So we went to the usual place where beers were waters and talks have no limits. we have had first our dinner at the same time because i do not want to let my sisters cook for us. We ordered enough foods to ready our stomachs for the long hour of talks and sharing. It was okay then because its Friday and the next day was Saturday, a rest day. We ordered food as "pulutan" and beers. we started the drinking session at around 9:30pm and ended almost  2 in the morning. P.S. No liquor Ban that time so we were planning to stay till the sun shows up. However, one of my friend was already drunk and literally sleeping in the table, and vomited in his own shirt, so we were forced to stop since everyone then felt the cold breeze already and much intoxication. My friend called up the bill to the attending waiter. When the attending waiter saw me, he was surprised and suggested something to me and he apologized right then. The waiter said, "IKAW MAN DIAY NA SIR, SORRY SIR. AKOA NA LANG NI HATOD UNYA SIR O BAYRAN NA LANG NINYO KARON? PASENSYA NA SIR WALA KO KAILA DAYON SA IMUHA, DAGHAN MAN GUD CUSTOMER SIR.". Me and my friends had seconds of pause... then i said, "ITS OKAY, BAYRAN NA LANG NAKO NI KARON". It was really funny experience being mistakenly recognize as the owner of the restaurant. But the bad side of it, up until now i owe the restaurant 400+ pesos because we were short of budget to pay, it was because my drunk friend lost his wallet somewhere in the comfort room. I hope the attending waiter got it so that the deduction coming from us be saved and he be able to get a spur coming from us. Because of that experience, i never drink at that place again. Those were the last day I made a step over there premises. 

This experience of mine being wrongly branded happened just recently. It was Saturday night and the city streets is field with people from different places across the country since it was one of the major celebration in the city. My friend and I decided to look for a place to settle for a drink and it was not easy finding one because of the multitude of people celebrating the event. I remembered one of my occasional friend reminded me that they had a display stall in the street selling beers just near the enclosed streets with live band from different regions performing on stage. I was hesitant then because i was thinking the people would flood the place since the aura of the place was really inviting. So we risked the effort of going to the place since we have no choice and who knows we could find a good spot there. It was 11 in the evening when we finally met my friend and have a vacant table and seats for us. We then ordered a bucket and started drinking. The night was still booming with people just as if the people in that area have no interest of going home. It was almost 3 in the morning that time, then all of the sudden the person right beside our table tapped me and said something that changes all our moods. "PARE? PARE? KAILA KO SA IMUHA BA, CLIMBER KA DIBA? PAMILYAR KA KAAYO BA. KAUBAN MAN TA NAG CLIMB SA MT. APO LAST TIME. DILI LANG TA UBAN SA GRUPO. NAGA CLIMB PA KA KARON?". That was what the person said to me. I was thinking what to say to the person but instead just knodded "as if i was the one his pertaining to" and I said something that will spoil everything and come to a decision to escape from the area to avoid more talks and questioning. these words spoiled the scene, "WALA NA LAGI KO KA CLIMB KARON KAY BUSY, PERO LAST CLIMB KO SA SAMAL (take note: SAMAL)" when i noticed the feeling of suspicion among each other. I then said right away and ignored the person. And i thought my friends did not hear it but i was wrong, they were laughing at me all the way to my place. How could that be? the thing was that, there's no mountain in Samal that a climber could ever waste a time on.

Babies are difficult as easy as that!!!

I know you are thinking why i said babies are difficult? Yeah, I am not being harsh or whatsoever you are thinking. I am not a monster. I love babies (whose age are pretty much higher than 3 years old). But babies are difficult really. I have this nephew of mine who really really really difficult to handle. He just wanted to play all day, less eat, lots of play. He's a hurricane, a typhoon, a flood that when he passes to you, everything is in ruined. No toys ever survived a day without even destroyed. Moreover, you can see a promising future to my nephew because he is good in drawing, in arts. The problem is that, he does his arts in our walls, in our beds, in our books, using pens, crayons. (sigh) Yes! He is a creator and destroys at the same time. I never imagine anything in my childhood my parents telling i am this hyperactive, or they believe more in the saying "action is speaks loader the words" (laughing). It seems that he never ceases energy and that he is always fired up. No wonder he always get scratches and more so, he's physically thin for a three year old boy. Even so, it is understandable that his body cannot compensate the needed nutrients to sustain the healthiness he deserved. Babies are difficult as easy as that. They imitate things and actions, might be dangerous or not. Babies are like Scientist. They experiment.

Sometimes it is unavoidable to refrain the child by hitting and scolding. But it would turn out to be a bad way if you did not explain the punishment before hand. My nephew receives some from our military ways of disciplining that is sometimes I can compare the differences of today's generation to ours. HOLD ON! Laws are being passed to congress to avoid children maltreatment. If these laws are present in the past, my dad or so many father would have been locked up in jail. My father calls his punishment as "Martial Law". Once my father is saying it or warning us to something, we would run for mercy. So terrifying. I experienced the cruelest punishment a father could do to his children. But see, I learned everything (not the punishment) about the value of respect and love. I believe I've been a difficult baby after all (laughing).

My nephew is very special to us. Even though he is so annoying in some point, later on in his life I believe he would be laughing together with us as we share to him in the near future his being a difficult baby once. We are thankful also that in these way, we manage to love him and tighten our patience. We learn and understand more about unconditional love. Aside from the countless joy my nephew bring to us are the humors he teaches us. (short English like, No! BAD! BORROW!) We see that the care must be expressed even more, must be shared and teach to him without a feeling of tiredness just like being hyperactive with love. I guess somewhere in our lives we too become a difficult babies that puts a little smile to our crying parents.

SINGLE FAIR-ENTING

We have been mustered by experiences and guided by idealist resonance and intellectual incompetence about the experiences where doubts comes in a big bang. In these ways, inequality and maltreatment overrun the quiet living of what is supposed to be coping the loses of the left. We see other people who in one way or another far different than normal. It is not others, even different as other sees it. It is the same way more heroic than being luckily getting the complete care of what is family looks like. Here, the parent is the hero and the child/children are the complete evidence of the meaning of sacrifice and love. Its an out pouring of true self satisfaction at the end of the parent journey and unselfish love as unconditional as possibly be. In addition, some of the people who engaged with this kind of life changing experiences end up being a complete and well-dignified person. They chose being a fighter rather than a challenger as much as being the survivor rather than victim. I really salute the single parents in the world who happened to raise their children in a way fair even if it is really not.

My next blog: Babies are difficult

P.S: This is my first ever Blog. Bare with me!!!